I Would Never Admit
by x - - unwrittenMELODY
Summary: You know, I expected college to be a time for fun, relaxation and preparing me for my future. What I DIDN'T expect, though, is to fall head-over-heels for my dark haired roommate. Darren x Steve
1. Roommate

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter One: Roommate**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Whooo. New story, and it's AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for later chapters: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Hope you like!

Disclaimer: I don't anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

College. They say high school will be the best years of your life, but when I think about it, College was the best. I mean, no parents, no groundings and better yet, I was on my own. I mean, with my tight-nit family, it wore you down. So as my best friend Julie and I pulled up to the front of the university dorm apartments, I stared and sat there behind the wheel. She looked over to me and pushed my shoulder gently and I jumped up.

"Your such a girl, Darren. Come on, it won't be that hard," she said, pulling her blonde hair into a ponytail and I wet my lips nervously.

"Easy for you to say. You've already kicked your freshman year to the curb," I groaned, finally putting the car into reverse and backed up into a visitor parking space before turning the car off and getting out.

"So? If I can do it, you definitely can. You can be without me for a while, can't you?" she mocked, following suit as I opened the bed of her truck.

"Yeah, your so cute," I snorted sarcastically, picking up a few boxes of mine as she carried one. I locked the truck with her keys and slipped them to her, which she pocketed.

"Thank you, dah'lin," she drawled out and I rolled my eyes and laughed, walking towards where my assigned room was.

There were people everywhere, most sunbathing or talking to their friends. I mean, if everyone is as cool as this now I probably could get in with a few people. I mean, I was social, but not really popular with people. I never really got as to _why_, but I never lingered on it too long. I walked up the stairs and into the double doors, holding it open for Julie and then felt the rush of the cool air hitting me.

"That feels so good," she said and put my boxes down and I stared at her as she twirled around.

"Your so weird. Come on, I want to get my stuff put down. These things are HEAVY," I complained and she rolled her eyes, picking her box back up with ease and followed me down the hallway.

Room 233AB. Well, that was a straightforward number, and one I had memorized the entire drive here. I was bustling with excitement, more because I was away from my strict, over-protective parents and the fact I was a free "man." I scanned rooms and numbers before I stopped dead in my tracks, Julie bumping right into the back of me.

"Hey Darren, what's that all-" she cut off when she saw what I was staring at.

A pretty girl was basically melded into the wall from a male practically dry humping her in the hallway. I grimaced, the fact that they would do _this_ in the MIDDLE of the hallway was completely beyond me. When Julie turned her head away I decided to make her less uncomfortable and cleared my throat and the male turned his head towards me.

I almost fell over, I was so stunned. He was gorgeous and undeniably breathtaking. His hazel eyes raked along my body and I blushed as he pulled away slowly from the female. She complained and looked over to us, rolling her eyes. Wow, what a bitch.

"Sorry to interrupt... whatever this is, but can't you go fuck in the bathroom like civilized people?"

My jaw dropped at Julie's bold statement and I looked over to her who just looked back to me and shrugged. The other girl, however, didn't like this. She only pulled the guy into another kiss and I snorted in disgust and hurried past them, Julie following suit. I heard something fall to the floor and I looked back to see Julie had tossed a rubber over to them.

"When in love, wear the glove!" she chirped and followed me happily, causing me to start a fit of giggles.

As we reached the room I was still laughing, putting the box down momentarily to get the room key.

"I can't believe you did that!" I said, unlocking the door and hauled the box up once again and she smiled, looking very pleased with herself.

"What? I mean, the teen pregnancy rate is very high these days. I mean, what did you want me to do? Have another unwed-teenage mother on our hands?" she asked sincerely and I frowned at her and she flashed me a grin.

"So not what I meant, Jules," I said and she laughed again and we placed the boxes next to a nicely sized leather couch and I looked around. I whistled before saying, "This place is pretty nice."

She nodded and then tripped over a green duffel bag and I looked up, shocked. She kicked the bag and my eyes caught another set of bags and boxes practically thrown there as if the owner didn't care. Was I rooming with some sort of animal? I mean, how can you be so... so messy? At least put your stuff in your room.

"Ugh, this sucks. I'm rooming with a dog," I said and she looked over to me, knowing about my feelings towards too much mess.

"Woah..."

Both of our looks shot over to the door where the guy from before in the hallway was standing. He leaned against the frame and ran his finger's through his hair, genuine surprise on his face. Oh no. Please for the love of all that is just good and right, please no.

"Guess we're roomies."

_NO._ My heart sank to the floor and I could feel Julie shift in the tension and to clear the air she clasped her hands together, picking up one of my boxes.

"Well, since you and Sir-friction are here, get acquainted, hmm? I'm gonna take these to a room!" she said, tossing me a glance which I returned, and walked down the small apartment hallway towards the bedrooms.

An awkward silence presumed and he finally walked in, moving close to me and outstretched his hand.

"Name's Steve," he said and I nodded, running my finger's though my hair; like hell I was touching his hands because I had no idea where his hands have been.

"Darren," I said simply, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the fact I only wore a wife beater and shorts to come here.

He leaned against the counter leading to the kitchen and nodded, repeating my name over and over.

"Darren. Darren... cute name," he said and I looked up to him, which was a big mistake.

His eyes were fixed on me and he had a small smirk on his lips. Was a guy allowed to be this attractive? I mean, at least a straight one?

"Y-Yeah. Darren. Uhm," I said, looking over to my stuff, knowing this was getting more awkward by the second.

"Freshman?" he asked me and I nodded and he laughed and I shot him a glance.

"What's so funny? Gonna mess with me 'cause I'm new?" I shot back defensively, all those years of teasing pulling at my insides.

He held up his hands in defense, chucking, "I'm a freshman, too. Your sure hot today."

Was I the only one that caught the sexual vibe there? I was suddenly praying that Julie would come back and save me. She was still in the room. What could she be doing?

"Really hot..." I heard him utter under his breath and I could feel blood slowly rushing to my face and when I looked back to him he was still looking to my eyes; did he ever look away because this was becoming uncomfortable.

"You-!"

"Okay! I'm back," Julie's familiar voice rang out and I sighed in relief, thankful she had come when she did.

"Darren...?" she began and I tossed her a pleading look and she gave me the evil revenge smirk.

Oh come on!

"I have to go, Darren. Work is going to catch up with me! Hope you and your roommate will be great friends!" she said, pulling me into a hug and I whispered in her ear:

"Your so dead to me."

"Love you, too. Make sure you check your cell. Rebbecca called, twice," she said and I groaned, remembering that my girlfriend also went to this school.

"Uh, nice meeting you... uh-" she said, looking at him with a lost expression.

"Steve."

"Yeah, Steve. Have fun, Dar," she said and blew me a kiss before making her way out and I sat onto the couch, sighing.

"So. Looks like we're... stuck together," he said, sauntering over to me and sat near me on the couch and I sat up, looking at him with distaste.

"Looks like you better not touch me," I warned and he leaned his face in close, smirking.

"Your going to want it sometime, _Darren._ They _always_ want it," he said and I groaned and rolled my eyes, grabbing my extra boxes and made my way to the bedroom that was open just a crack.

I sat on the edge of the bed, poking around my boxes and frowned, folding and unfolding clothes in frustration.

This was going to be a long, long year.

* * *

Remember what I said about it being a long year? Yeah, scratch that. Make that a long, tireless few months. I couldn't take it. He was cocky and arrogant, and he kept treating me like I was his eye candy, or something (I mean, the attention was nice, but you know what I mean!).

For example, we have several classes together, and no matter how much I tried to avoid him, it was like he _had_ to talk to me. In Advanced Chemistry (no, I don't know how I got into this. I hate science, anyway) I was sitting there, doodling in my notebook before class when he just makes his way in. I tried my hardest not to notice him, but his laugh and smile could draw just about anyone in. I didn't even know why, but when his arms wrapped around a few girl's waists a pang of jealously hit me. No, I don't LIKE him, okay? I mean, it's just disgusting. What do those girls have that he likes so much?

I shifted in my seat when his eyes connected with mine and I looked away, trying to hide the small blush that ran to my cheeks. I heard someone make way into the seat next to me and it was as if He was mad at me, because Steve's cocky, arrogant... ugh, he was there. I sighed, sitting up and scooting myself away from him, but instead of taking the hint, he moved closer.

"Oh, come on. It's not like I'm infectious, or something," he said, taking a sip of his soda and I laughed, but in the most sarcastic way possible.

"Oh, really? How would I know that? You have screwed just about every girl in this school. I mean, contracting something is not too far off," I said and he looked at me with a raised brow.

"Big talk for someone who looks like a momma's boy, little virgin," he said back, taking another sip and I looked at him, slapping my hand on the lab table angrily.

"I'm not a fucking virgin. Just because I don't sleep around and go chasing skirts doesn't mean I'm a virgin," I growled out and he moved in close to me, smirking.

"Your feisty. It's a turn on," he mumbled and all the fire inside me was doused and replaced with embarrassment.

I moved away a bit more and he only laughed, running his finger's through his hair. We just had a moment, a strange moment in class and I knew this would be the start of something unexpected.

* * *

Yes. First chapter complete.  
Don't you just love Steve's cockiness and Darren's defensiveness?

Okay. Will have the next chapter up soon!

Review / Rate / Favorite / Enjoy!

:]


	2. Lips Locked

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Two: Lips Locked.**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Whooo. New story, and it's AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for later chapters: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Sorry it's so late, I have the flu and it's slowly getting better.  
To make up for it, I'm uploading another chapter tonight or tomorrow.

Disclaimer: I don't anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

She was talking, but I wasn't exactly listening. All I did was nod at the right times and interjected, "Oh, really?" and "I'm sorry, baby," at the times needed. She had her hand upon mine and I kept having the urge to move it away. I took a long gulp of my soda, to drown out her voice for a second then it was back on. Did she ever take any breaths?

"Like, you understand, right Darren?" she asked me, finally taking a break and poked at her salad.

I snapped out of my daze to reply, "Huh? Oh yeah. I totally get it."

She nodded, taking a bite of her salad and asked, "So, what should I do?"

Oh, I hate these questions. To walk around it I took a long sip of my soda and shrugged and she frowned. This was my girlfriend of almost a year, Becca. It started as a pity date and progressed into... well, this. That was mean, it wasn't mere pity for her, it was mostly pity for myself. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly, or anything, but I was always awkward around people. It was my height, probably.

"Darren, I'm serious," she said and I placed the empty cup down and shifted in my seat, running my fingers through my hair.

"Hey, want a re-fill?" I asked and averted the question still, picking her cup up which she peered at me from under her cellphone she had to her face.

"Darren, your hopeless," she sighed and I put her cup down, putting my hands up in defense.

She only rolled her eyes and continued to text and I really wanted to be anywhere but here. I sighed and propped myself up on my hand, watching her text. Well, that was rude. I take time to see her when I should be doing an essay for Chemistry. Hell, it sounded a lot more entertaining then being here with her. I'd even take the annoying hit-on's from Steve. I felt a small blush creep to my cheeks at the thought of him and stood up, needing to be out of here.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked me in a sugar-coated voice and something inside of me told me to gag.

"I have a lot of work due tomorrow. I'm sorry," I said, not really having to lie and she nodded, standing up and closed her salad.

She locked her arm with mine and we made our way from the campus cafe to the apartment complex. She made me walk her to hers and I stopped before her room. She leaned up and kissed me and I reluctantly kissed back. She didn't notice the hesitation and told me to text her. With that I made my way back to my room and noticed how it was unlocked.

"Dammit, Steve," I uttered and opened the door, noticing a movement on the couch.

"OH GOD DAMMIT, CAN'T YOU DO THAT IN YO-"

Steve sat up, peering at me and I realized that he was alone. I felt embarrassment crawl to me and he put down a bottle of Gatorade. Wait. Gatorade? I stared at it then made my way to the mini-fridge I brought with me and opened it, seeing that it was bare. No, he didn't...

"Where's all my food?"

"About that... I got hungry... and..." he began, rubbing the back of his head and stood up and I noticed he was in boxers and a T-shirt; I'm mad at you, dammit, don't be attractive!

"You ate all of _my_ food AND drank my Gatorade? Have you lost your mind?" I asked hysterically, practically overreacting.

"I was hungry! I'm sorry! I'll buy you-"

"No. Forget it!" I groaned, slamming the refrigerator door and pushed him out of my way as I stormed into my room.

I don't even know why I was so angry, now that I think about it. Actually, I wasn't really mad at him, more at him touching my things. I sat on the floor next to my bed and vented by texting Julie. I began the message when the door opened, Steve standing there with a look of regret on his face.

"Don't you know how to knock?" I snapped and he shrugged, leaning against the door frame.

"Look, I'm sorry about the food," he said sincerely and for a moment, I was going to forgive him.

That died, though when I thought of how he was always so cocky and coy with me. He would always get himself off the hook easily with this. Not this time.

"Whatever," I mumbled, pulling out my iPod and stuck a earphone bud in my ear. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"

I saw his face twist in anger and he pushed his body from the frame and he turned on his heel.

"Fine. Fuck this," he said and I could feel something pull at my heart as the door slammed behind him and I leaned my head against the wall.

This is so never going to go my way, is it?

* * *

I snapped out of my daze at my laptop from a shuffling in the kitchen. I had started on my essay and had only pushed out a paragraph. It was a pitiful sight and the shuffling continued. I stood up, stretching first and opened the door, making my way down the small apartment hallway. I saw Steve leaning over and I couldn't help but stare at his ass as he was bent over. I blushed when he stood up and cleared my throat and he looked to me. He was holding grocery bags, which surprised me.

"Uh... here..." he said, a bit on the awkward side and handed me a bag which I took hesitantly.

When I opened it I saw all the snacks I had saved in there and then some and I felt a bit touched that he went through all of this trouble to make it up to me. I could feel a small smile tug at my lips and when I looked up, he was looking back at me, hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry, okay? Didn't think you'd be so upset," he said, obviously bad at making any sort of apology in general.

"I... It's cool..." I said, trying to make myself sound mature and not like a happy little girl, which was how I felt at the moment.

I bit my lip and walked past him, placing the snacks in the cabinet instead of the mini-fridge and I could still feel his eyes on me. I turned around and he was indeed watching me, looking as if he wanted to say something.

"Hey..." he said gently and I looked back to him and he was so close to me, I could almost feel his body heat.

I gasped softly and he was looking into my eyes and I looked away for a second, but with our noses almost touching I couldn't help but bring my face back to his direction. His eyes were half-lidded and I gripped the counter from behind me, it pushing into my back as I pressed against it. He leaned in so close I could feel my eyes slide shut and when I opened them his lips were to mine and all the blood rushed to my face. I could feel my body trembling as he kissed me and I couldn't... I couldn't...

I pulled away and my breathing was coming out short and jagged. His eyes opened slowly and he looked puzzled. I bit my lip, wanting to take a step back but couldn't. Not when I was basically melding with the kitchen counter.

"I... I can't..." I breathed out and he only pushed his body to mine and I realized he was only an inch shorter then I was.

"Why?" he said, his voice almost as raspy and I licked my lips, honestly not knowing the answer.

"I-" I began but cut short, my eyes resting on his hazel ones and when his hand made way to my cheek I held onto his shoulder, the trembling continuing to get worse.

Steve's eyes closed a bit and his lips were to my jaw and I held on tighter, almost afraid he would move away or let go. When his lips moved from that area they were back onto mine and this time I didn't pull away. His hands made way to my hair and my arms were around his neck in seconds, my actions all of their own. His lips... they were so soft... kissable, even.

His tongue ran along my lower lip and I spread them, his tongue invading and roaming my mouth. Our tongues battled it out and without knowing my legs were around his waist and he was bringing my body even closer. We pulled away for a minute for air and when I looked into his eyes, his were at mine. He was so gorgeous.

He kissed me hard and I moaned softly, his body pressing harder against me. I whined, finger's tangled in his dark hair and as he kissed me I tried to keep up. He was way too skilled for me. Suddenly, my phone rang and he almost dropped me out of shock. We pulled away, panting and when my phone continued I leaned my head back and then moved away from him.

I walked over to the island(1) in the center and slid flipped open my phone, pressing the phone to my ear and answered.

"H-Hey Becca..." I said softly and I could see Steve looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"Hey! Are you busy? You said you'd text me..."

"No... no I'm not busy..." I said and Steve answered with a sarcastic snort.

I looked back to him and his face was sending all sorts of signs of disapproval.

"Can I come over?"

"Uh... I'm not sure," I said and looked over to Steve who looked irritated.

"Well, I'm coming over anyway."

"Then why'd you as-" but before my question was out she hung up and I flipped the phone closed.

"Who was that?" he asked me in a demanding tone and I ran my finger's though my hair nervously.

"Well... she's..."

There was a knock on the door and I stared, amazed by how quickly Becca had made it here. I opened the door and there she was, smiling up at me.

"Hey baby!" she said, leaned up and wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me.

I went rigid for a second and saw the angry look on Steve's features and when she pulled away, she looked at him and smiled, waving in the most friendly manner.

"Hi, I'm Becca! You must be-"

"Leaving," he said angrily and walked past me, practically shoving me and the last thing I saw on his face was the hurt before he left the apartment and my face fell while Becca was confused on his leaving.

Oh man, what did I just... do?

* * *

Notes: (1): and island is a counter top normally located in the center of a kitchen (or like in my house, separates the living room from the kitchen.) It's usually used to prepare foods and can be used to eat meals. that's what i'm talking about.

Okay, so it's short. Sorry, next chapter will have the sexy-time  
so don't be too mad?

Hope you enjoyed and prepare for the next chapters soon!

Oh, and as always: favorite / rate / review!

love you all :]


	3. Yours

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Three: Yours.**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Whooo. New story, and it's AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for later chapters: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Here's a AHEM chapter since I haven't updated for a while.  
I promised. I guess you could say it's semi-blush worthy?  
I thought it was very sensual, lol!

Disclaimer: I don't anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

I frowned as I slept, hearing soft noises coming from somewhere I couldn't detect. It had to be at least midnight and I sat up in my bed, eyes half-open, sleepiness still evident. I moved my hand over to the small table beside my bed and flipped my phone open and looked at the time. It **was** midnight. I groaned softly, rubbing my head and tossed my legs over the side of the bed.

I stood up slowly and stumbled a bit in the darkness of my room, grabbing for something to wear for my lower half. I picked up my discarded boxers and slipped them on, opening my door gently. The noises were louder, and they sounded like... grunting. Like, sexual grunts. They were coming from Steve's room.

I felt a surge of jealously and slight betrayal rush though me. After all of what happened earlier today, the kiss and the looks... they were just another one of his games. I knew it. I was hurt, really hurt. Fuck me for feeling special.

I was so mad, I decided to get back at him by interrupting whatever he had going on with him and... whoever he was messing around with. With anger and determination I made my way to his door, the grunting louder and evident now. I was a bit surprised when I didn't hear anything besides the panting and grunting. Whoever he was with was quiet, at least.

The thought still angered me and I wrenched the door open and suddenly all of my anger fled me and I took a step back, blushing.

It was Steve all right, but he was alone. His head was tossed back and he was... his hand... I bit my lip, watching as he continued to pant softly, eyes closed and his lips parted slightly. I kept as quiet as I could and stood there, not able to look away. I was so turned on by this...

I bit my lip even harder, my hands trailing my thighs. His hair was falling into his face as his hand continued slowly, almost agonizingly slow. I couldn't contain it, and my hand even slipped into my boxers and I could feel myself blushing at all of this. I closed my eyes a bit when my hand began to pick up rhythm and soon, it was matching his pace and I used my other hand to bite my knuckles.

"Dar...ren..." he moaned out softly and I accidentally squeezed, a low moan releasing from me.

I closed my eyes and continued stroking, picturing Steve there, touching me. It was magnificent what the imagination can do to you. I could see him, standing before me and kissing my neck... his hand over mine, helping me. Wow... it really did feel as if his hand was guiding mine. I could hear him whispering my name in my ear and... oh damn, he's moving his hand faster. I could feel a low moan release from my lips and suddenly the hand stopped. Wait, why did my hand stop?

When I opened my eyes I blushed, realizing the fantasy I had created had been real. Steve's face was so close to mine his breath was on my face and his hand was... his hand began to move again.

"Steve..." I said softly and he kissed my neck, sucking on it as he stroked me.

I moaned and arched into his touches, knowing that I wanted this. I had been denying it for months and I couldn't do it anymore. Not after the way he had kissed me...

"You were watching me," he said gently, trailing kisses along my collarbone to my jaw and I trembled, his hand moving faster.

I only nodded, not able to speak and my hands raised to become tangled in his brown locks and I could feel his smirk on my ear. He sucked and nipped at it and I gasped, pulling my body so close to his, there was barley any room for his hand to touch me. He pulled his hand away and pulled me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist.

He pressed my body against the frame and kissed me deeply, beginning to roll his hips along mine and I arched into it, moaning into his mouth. He took opportunity to roam my mouth with his tongue and our tongue's went to war. He pulled away earlier then expected and I looked down to him, panting. He carried me over to his bed and laid me down, crawling on top of me and kissed me again. He ran his finger's along my sides and I arched, his hand now pressed to my back, keeping it arched against his bare chest.

He pulled away and kissed my neck, nipping at it and then bit at it gently, causing my head to toss to the side and a long moan to escape my lips. He pulled away and I was so unbelievably turned on I was kissing him now, hungrily. He smirked and I moaned at the sight, wanting him and the urge has never been so strong before to want to... touch. To feel... and with the sensuality, I was almost about to explode. It was perpetual torture.

"Steve..." I breathed out and he looked at me, pulling my body close to his and I lost my train of thought momentarily as his face drew close to mine.

"Yeah?" he said in a low tone, eyes glazed over and I closed my eyes a bit, trying to remember what I was going to say.

"I'm..." I managed to say but his hands were roaming along my body, which meant that I wouldn't be able to focus on anything.

"Speak up, babe," he uttered, kissing my neck again and I moaned as he grabbed me through my boxers.

"I... I... Oh my God..." I moaned when he gripped me and bit down on my neck gently.

"Please..." I whimpered and he pulled his lips away and looked into my eyes which could barley stay open with all of the pleasure filling me.

He kissed from my neck down to my chest and kept his lips there, sliding my boxer's down slowly. Painfully slow. His tongue ran from my navel up and I arched again, hands tangled in his hair once more. This really was torture. I moaned loudly and he looked up to me, hands massaging my inner thighs gently and I looked down at him, his familiar smirk on his lips.

"So not fair..." I whined and he only laughed softly and ran his fingers along my thighs and rested on my ass, pulling me closer to him.

He kissed my sides and then leaned close to me, placing two of his finger's to my lips. I looked to him and he parted his lips a bit and I did it, his finger's slipping into my mouth. I closed my eyes and began to suck on them, slowly and sensually. He was making soft groaning noises above me and when I opened my eyes back, he was biting his lips, watching me intently through a lustful gaze.

He slowly moved his fingers away and I licked my lips, closing them again and he kissed me deeply. I felt my leg being lifted and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest and I realized I was more nervous then scared.

I winced in pain when I felt a finger slide inside of me and I shifted in discomfort. I clamped my eyes shut and he used his free hand to stroke me gently. I arched and he quickly slid another finger in. The pleasure and pain mingled and I didn't know how to react and a gasp fled my lips. It hurt so much... but it felt so good...

Soon he was leaning over me, his lips pressed roughly against mine and his hands continued and I screamed into his mouth as he finally entered. The penetration was the worst part, more because of how unprepared I was for it. I felt tears claw at the edges of my eyes and he looked at me, kissing my lips gently this time.

"Tell me when..." he said gently and I nodded, doing my best to adjust as he stroked my hair.

I looked at him and nodded again and he began to move slowly and I continued to bite my lip. It still hurt, but eventually, with how gentle he was being the pain evaporated. Then, it began to feel amazing, like heaven. I was moaning by now and he moved quicker, causing loud gasps and whines to come from me.

He leaned over me as his hips rolled and I watched him as he stared into my eyes, soft pants coming from him and he gripped at my hair gently. I arched and pushed with his thrusts, the sensations running full and free along my body.

This was amazing, the most pleasureful experience of my life and as I closed my eyes, moaning out his name over and over again, his hand reached to grab mine. As I looked over to them, his finger's laced with mine and I felt tears creep to the edges of my eyes. I was afraid now.

What if... what if I was just another one?

I could feel hot tears stream down my face and he slowed down, eyes filled with concern.

"Darren?"

"I don't want to be another one, Steve. I can't be another one," I sobbed, reluctantly pulling away and he held me there by force.

"Steve..."

"'Another one?' What are you talking about Darren?" he asked me, moving my head so I was forced to look at him.

"I can't be another one of your fuck's and leaves," I cried and he was so in shock he released me and I moved from the bed, hand to my eyes as the tears were more fluid now.

"No. No, no, no, no. Darren, come here," he said, grabbing my wrist and pushed my back to the wall, eyes at mine.

"Why? Why do I have to? I don't want something like this if it isn't real. Not for my first time," I said and he frowned, looking away.

"I thought you weren't a virgin..."

"With girls I'm not. I've never wanted to be with someone so much before, okay? I'm afraid that I'm one of those skirts you chase," I said, knowing I looked a mess with the tears dripping off my cheeks.

"Your not. I haven't had sex with anyone since I met you," he said and I frowned, pushing him off of me.

"Bullsh-"

"Why do I have to lie to you, Darren?" he said softly, his eyes back to me and I bit my lip and held back another sob.

"I..."

"I don't want anyone else, Darren. Hell, I was pissed when I found out you had a girlfriend. I... I'm not good with this, okay?" he said, sighing and ran his finger's through his hair. "I just want to be with you. I want you, Darren. Dammit," he said and pushed away from me, sitting on the bed and leaned over, head in his hands.

"You..."

"I don't know if it's love yet, but I want to be able to touch you and hold you without you... telling me no. It hurts when you don't want me to be near you. Fuck, it hurt just a damn second ago," he said and looked at me and I don't think I have ever seen anyone ever be as human as he was just then.

I moved close to him and kissed him deeply and he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close and when I pulled away he pulled me on top of him. He rolled us over so he was on top now, and I blushed when he held my hand with his.

"I want this. I want you... and I want to be with you. I want to be your first, Darren. Like your mine," he said and I stared, amazed that he admitted something like this to me.

"Your first?"

"Yeah. My first," he said and before I spoke he kissed me deeply, and just then, I wanted it.

I wanted this, all of this and I whispered in his ear to start again and he bit my neck before pushing himself inside, causing a moan release from me. Intense pleasure coursed through my body and as he rocked his body along mine I gasped, arching into the touches. He held my hand tightly like he didn't want to let go and his nose was touching mine. As he looked at me his other hand gripped my side tightly and I arched, feeling myself become closer and closer.

He groaned and I whined, the pleasure causing my eyes to roll to the back of my head as he pushed in deeper. With how deep he went in, I was practically clawing at the sheets and screaming out his name in pleasure. I noticed that he was even calling out my name as we continued and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard him say.

His head tossed back and as I watched I felt it, I felt it... his hand was so tight on mine and I squeezed back just as hard, arching as he did. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried out his name once more as I came with him, panting heavily. I could feel how hot the room had gotten and I laid there, running my finger's through my now damp hair.

I winced slightly as he pulled out and rolled out beside me, on his side and faced me. I could feel my chest heaving and he wiped my sweaty forehead and kissed it and I pressed my body to his. He froze for a second, not expecting it then wrapped his arms around me and I closed my eyes.

"Yours..." I murmured and he leaned down, trying to listen in.

"What?"

"Yours," I blushed and looked up, and his eyes went from shocked to relief.

I kissed his collarbone once before my eyes slid shut and he kissed my head and whispered softly, "Goodnight."

"Steve..." I uttered slowly before falling into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Ah, finished.  
I loved this chapter, so much sensuality  
and the confessions.

Anyway, love you for even reading!

Please, review / rate / favorite!

Love you all, and next chapter will be up soon!


	4. Willing to Try

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Four: Willing to Try**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Here's another chapter. Love and beaches.  
It's cute, to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

As I tried to keep myself asleep a warm sensation rested on my cheek. I knew it was sunlight but I really didn't want to wake up. I felt a shifting movement next to me and my eyes finally cracked open. I practically had a heart attack as I saw that Steve was lying beside me, watching me. He jumped at my jump and he sat up, running his fingers through his hair.

"How did you sleep?" he asked me and I stretched, shrugging sleepily.

"Okay, I think…"

He smiled and I realized then that his hand was upon my own. My mind recapped all of last night and one thing struck me.

"Am I really the first guy you've been with?" I asked and he blinked then nodded.

"I mean, sex wise, at least," he replied, leaning his head on the wall above his bed.

"So you've done other things?" I asked curiously and he glanced over to me without moving his head.

"Yeah…" he replied and I propped myself up onto the pillow and bit my lip.

"Like, what things?"

He sighed softly before saying, "Making out, hand jobs and BJs."

My face heated up and I finally sat up myself, rubbing my arm. I only nodded and saw that he was staring at me from the corner of my eye. When I finally looked I could see the smirk on his lips and I blushed even darker and turned away.

It also didn't help that he even barley attempted to use the covers to cover him up. I placed my legs together to try and hide my growing need but it showed enough for Steve to tell.

"Want me to _show_ you what I can do?" he asked me, his voice lowering to a seductive tone and I could feel the blush creep back onto my face and I shrugged.

"Oh come on… don't you want to _experience_ it?" he asked and I looked back to him and without warning he had me pinned to the bed.

I trembled under the force and licked my lips, trying my hardest to hold back a moan. He kissed down my chest slowly causing me to whine in response. He then ran his tongue from my abdomen down and I arched, tangling my fingers in his hair.

Suddenly his mouth wrapped around me and my eyes widened and then squeezed shut. I tossed my head over to the side and moaned out loudly, finally looking over to him as I began to pant. All I saw was his head movements and felt him suck harder.

"Steve!" I gasped out and he tossed a look up to me and pulled his mouth away slowly.

I gasped from the loss of contact and he only smirked at me and leaned up to kiss me hard. I was so addicted to him, it was unnerving. This was only the start of something so much bigger.

* * *

Of course, this was only the beginning. Eventually everything became routine and even if I loved every moment with Steve, there was still this feeling of guilt that ran through me.

I still had a girlfriend who would happen to just pop up at the most unexpected times. Like once Steve and I took a shower together and he had me pressed into the tiles. It drug out from the bathroom to the kitchen floor and as if the devil had to punish me, she would come by (unannounced, by the way) and kill the moment.

What made it worse was that I just _couldn't_ break it off with her. Even if she annoyed me and was a bit narcissistic, I had an attachment to her. Which Steve knew and hated, **a lot**.

So when I woke up that morning alone in my bed, I realized how quiet the apartment had become. It was about March now, which meant it was warm enough to go jogging. It was at least 4 AM and I slipped on my shorts and a shirt before making my way down the hallway. I didn't even hear Steve's light snores and walked slowly now, past his bedroom.

"That's weird," I mumbled to myself and shrugged it off, grabbing the apartment key and locked up behind me as I left.

I jogged away from the apartments and made it way off campus and made it back the boardwalk, stopping my jog a bit when I saw someone out in the water. Who in their right mind would be at the beach this early in the morning. I moved a bit closer and the person was surfing and pretty well, to put it simply. I identified him as male with brown hair. I was basically standing there, staring before the boy saw me.

"Darren?"

My heart stopped when I heard the voice and I stared with my mouth open. Your kidding? What was _he_ doing here so damn early?

"Darren! Hey, come here!"

"STEVE IT'S, LIKE, FIVE IN THE MORNING!" I called out and he only waved me over, lying on the board on his stomach.

I jogged hurriedly over to him and he stood up, propping his surfboard in the sand and smiled at me. My heart fluttered, how nice. He pushed his bangs from his face which was clinging to it, much like how that wetsuit clung to his body. Goddammit, how can your abs be even VISIBLE in those things?

"You heard me?" he asked and I snapped out of it, looking up to his eyes as he gave me a curious smirk plucking his board from the sand.

"W-What?" I muttered and he grabbed my wrist, dragging me to the water.

"I said your gonna surf with me," he said and I was able to pull away before my flip-flops made it to the water.

"I don't know how to surf," I said hesitantly and he was already in the water before he turned to me.

"Oh?" he said, eyebrow raising and continued after sitting on the board, "looks like your gonna learn."

I stared at him with large eyes and mouth agape before managing out, "Your joking."

He smirked and stood up, pulling me into the water which I recoiled at.

"That's so cold!" I cried and he only pulled me again which brought me to pull away again.

He finally got impatient and picked me up, causing me to kick and yell in protest. Secretly, I was enjoying every minute of it and as he had me over his shoulder he tossed me into the water. I gave out a high pitched wail and shivered as the cold water got to my skin and I spit out at the salty taste in my mouth.

"Wakes you up, doesn't it Darren?" he asked and I looked at him with the best glare I could manage which caused a roar of laughter to flee him.

"Screw you, Steve!" I said, splashing water at him which got into his open mouth.

He spit the salty water out and splashed me back and the fight began. Soon I was drenched and giggling at his attempt to get me back. He spun me around, dunked me in the water and even got me to try surfing. Even with my failed attempts I don't think I have ever smiled so much before in my life. It was amazing.

As I laid on my stomach on his surfboard I looked at him and he floated next to me, hand keeping the board steady so I didn't fall off.

"See? Your not _that_ bad of a surfer," he teased and I stuck my tongue out at him, pushing his shoulder.

"Sorry we're not all professionals, Steven," said his full name like a teacher and he tickled my sides, making it worse by keeping me on the board so I couldn't flee.

Soon his hands were just holding me and his face was close to mine. I looked into his eyes which were barley visible from his hair and leaned in. I kissed him gently, closing my eyes slowly and he kissed back. His tongue made way to my lower lip and my mouth opened and he took the opportunity to invade my mouth. I moaned softly and he pulled me off of the board and to his body and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He kissed me hard and pulled me closer and soon my back was to the sand and his hands were all over my body. He pulled away panting and then kissed me all over my neck and collarbone. I moaned softly when he nipped at my neck and even louder when he rolled his hips onto mine. I arched into him as he kissed and sucked at my neck, causing me to whimper and whine from underneath him.

"Your so soft..." he mumbled in my ear, his hot breath causing chills to run along my spine.

He slid off my wet shirt and kissed along my chest and I looked at him, nodding at his wetsuit. He placed my hands to his back and I felt a zipper under my fingers and slid it down slowly, running my hands along the material to bring it down. He cupped my face and kissed me again as I slipped the suit down and finally off of him. Soon we were both fully unclothed, bodies pressed into each other tightly.

As he ground his hips into mine we kissed hungrily and as much as we could, his hand gripping my hair and causing me to moan even louder then I had before. His hands caressed my inner thighs gently, lips to my jaw and to my neck and back. I grasped a hold of his shoulders and arched into his body, causing him to gasp softly.

"Darren..." he mumbled in my ear and I kissed at his face, nails gently raking down his back.

I shivered as he licked the shell of my ear and moaned in pleasure as he slowly slid himself inside of me. I tossed my head to the side and that even gave him better access for he was sucking at my neck hard. I cried out his name as he thrust his hips slowly, pulling out almost all the way and slamming back in.

"S-STEVE!" I cried out in ecstasy and my eyes screwed tightly shut as he pushed in deeper and harder.

"Ah..." he groaned and I opened my eyes slowly to see that his head was tossed back and his eyes were closed.

"Your so... dammit..." he groaned and looked down to me, moving quickly now and I could feel a blush slide onto my cheeks.

"So... what?"

"Dammit..." he said softly, biting his lip and leaned in close to my face and closed his eyes became half-lidded.

"Your too beautiful."

I blushed darker and he ran his finger's through my hair, pushing in as deeply as he could and my vision became hazy and my back arched and I moaned loudly.

"Steve..." I moaned loudly, it drawling out and I could feel my eyes rolling back as he continued to push in over and over.

"I love y-"

"STEVE!" I cried out, holding onto him and felt my vision blind me from behind my eye lids and he cried out only moments after me.

I opened my eyes slowly, exhaustion hitting me and I saw that Steve wasn't looking at me. His eyes were to the sand beside me and he was panting, face flushed. I raised a tired hand to move hair from his face and he looked to me, almost looking embarrassed.

"You love me?"

His face grew darker and he moved from me slowly and I whined at the feeling and he pulled his hair back again. He turned his head and shrugged his shoulders, sniffing.

"I'm no good with this... love thing, okay? I don't really know how it works," he confessed and I sat up slowly and made it to my knees.

"Steve..."

"Teach me?" he said gently and looked at me, trying to keep his pride in tact and I stood up, sliding on my shorts and handed him his wetsuit.

"Yeah. Only if your willing to try..." I whispered and he stood up and I leaned in and kissed him gently.

That day, everything finally began. I was ready, if he was.

* * *

So, yup. It's getting cuter,  
but I will bring drama in soon enough.

Thank you for reading! I love you all!

Favorite, rate and review! Please?

:3


	5. Now or Never pt1

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Five: Now or Never pt. I**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

So, I haven't updated in a while, I'm sorry.  
School work and senior year = holy hell.  
That and I just got over the flu u-u

So, for this chapter it's filled with nothing but smut.  
Hot, Darren x Steve SMUT.

Part II is an actual chapter.  
I'm uploading it right after this.  
Enjoy guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

"God Darren..."

"Ah... AHH-"

"Shut up do you WANT us to get caught?" he scolded me and my back pushed further onto the wall of the bathroom stall.

"Steve..." I gasped and he pushed in deeper, the space around us now being too small for my liking.

"Shit... Darren..." he groaned and I wanted to scream, the feeling of him pushing in me was just delicious.

"Steve..." I began to claw at his back and he groaned, pushing in until he hit my prostate which caused a scream of pleasure to come from me.

"Oh my fuck we're gonna get caught. Shut up!" he hissed, placing his hand over my mouth as he paused momentarily, listening to sounds.

"Mmmnh..." I moaned and he looked at me and I kissed his hand from over my mouth and dug my nails into his back proceeding to push onto him.

"Dammit..." he groaned and bit my neck, the moan muffled by his hand.

I threaded my finger's through his hair as he pushed in and I began to moan into his hair, eyes rolling back into my skull. My heart was racing and his hands... his hands just loved to roam and touch me everywhere. He set my body on fire with lips and his touches and I couldn't contain how my voice began to rise as he pressed my body harder into the wall. My nails clawed at his back and he was even moaning now giving up the time to contain himself.

"Steve... oh... oh!"

"Shit Darren... how do you... stay so tight?" he groaned and as he pushed into me I moved onto him and I couldn't believe how intense the jolts of pleasure were as they ran through me.

His finger's wrapped around me and he squeezed me hard with his hands, leaning up to kiss me and began to stroke quickly. I was practically screaming in pleasure in his mouth as his ministrations continued. He stopped suddenly and I whined but he slapped his hand over my mouth before any more protests could come from me.

There was the sound of other males talking and Steve held his foot to the door, trying to keep as silent as possible. He looked up to me and began to stroke me slowly and I gasped softly under his hand, closing my eyes and tilting my head back. His hand skillfully went from the tip to the shaft and I did all I could not to moan and it was hard. The sound of running water and more talking proceeded until it was silent again and he removed his hand from my mouth.

"Your such a fucking tease," I moaned and pulled him close into a deep kiss and he thrust inside me quickly and unexpected.

"ST-"

The cry was silenced by another kiss and my back arched as I was being pushed towards the end. My face buried into his hair and his grunts mingled with my muffled screams as he pushed in harder and deeper. Suddenly there was a blinding light behind my eyelids and I screamed one last time in his hair before I released. He rode out his own orgasm before I leaned my back against the stall and looked at him. He moved his hand from me and licked his fingers, staring up at me.

"You... this... Oh God, that was hot," I panted and he smirked and pulled out toilet paper to clean us up.

He lowered me down and we dressed quickly, me slipping underneath to the stall next to us to make it less obvious. I fixed my disheveled form and opened the stall first, washing my hands and straightening myself up. Steve followed suit, it only being us in the bathroom. I looked over to him and he pushed his hair from his eyes.

"That... Steve..."

"Hah, and you thought we'd get caught," he mumbled and I made sure that no one was coming and pulled him into a deep, sensual kiss.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Julie began and I shifted on the couch, running my finger's through my freshly showered hair.

"You hated your roommate and now your fucking him..." she said observantly and I rolled my eyes, hearing the sound of gunshots come from the television.

I looked over to Steve who sat beside me playing Halo on his Xbox 360, pretty focused as he played. I pulled my legs up and sat cross-legged, hesitant to respond to her.

"Well, you kind of got the gist of it," I finally said and she laughed and I frowned.

"Your something else, Dar. So, what about Becca?" she asked and I heard clanking of dishes and assumed she was talking to me at work.

"Uhm... so how is your job going?" I asked, averting the question and looked over to Steve who was grinning, still into his game.

He looked cute like this, so into a video game. I heard Julie say something and I zoned back in, tilting my head to the side.

"Darren, your not! Dude! Your doing your roommate behind your girlfriend's back? Do you like, want some kind of suicide warrant?" she exclaimed and I winced when another clanking of a plate proceeded.

"Jules, come on," I tried to convince her but she snorted and I frowned.

"Do you know your nose crinkles when you lie?"

I stared straight ahead at her comment and laughed.

"Your joking," I said and I jumped up and almost fell off the couch when Steve yelled out.

"THAT'S RIGHT BITCH! HEADSHOT!" he cheered and I stared at him and he looked at me, a victorious grin on his face.

I laughed and placed Julie on speaker, and she continued to speak.

"Your roommate is weird," she said and even if he didn't look his eyebrow raised.

"Still, your nose does crinkle," she continued as if nothing had happened and I whined.

"No it doesn't!" I said and Steve paused his game, looking at me.

"It does," he agreed and I stared blankly at him, frowning.

"No it doesn't!" I argued and he moved close to my face and my breath was caught in my throat.

"Steve..."

"Do you want to kiss me?" he asked and I knew what he was getting at and moved away.

"No," I lied and he smiled, un-pausing his game.

"You lied."

"No I didn't!"

He turned his Xbox off and moved closer to me and in a second his body was pressed to mine and I gasped. Julie made puzzled noises but I couldn't focus, only moan softly when Steve grabbed me through my boxers.

"Are you turned on?"

"N-No..." I stuttered and he smirked, placing my hand over my nose.

"Are you turned on?" he said softly and grabbed me harder and I moaned a bit louder.

"No..." I whined and felt the skin on my nose push up a bit and I stared wide-eyed at him.

"Oh my Go-" I cut off when he kissed my neck and pushed me onto the couch and began to grind on me.

"Steve... Steve!" I gasped, my eyes averting to my phone as Julie was still on and all thoughts flew from my mind as he bit my neck.

"Mmm..." he mumbled and when he pulled away I saw that he was practically pitching a major tent.

"Steve, Julie's still on the phone," I said and he only smirked, shrugging carelessly.

"She doesn't seem to be complaining," he said and moved in to kiss me, biting at my lips which caused me to moan.

He parted my lips with his tongue and went to battle with mine, hands running up and down my sides. I could feel the goosebumps run up and down my arms and as he pulled away he kissed down my chest and ran his tongue along my navel. I gasped and whined when he kissed at my thighs as he slid my boxer's down. He was teasing me and running his finger's gently along the sensitive skin around my inner thighs.

"Steve..." I moaned softly and all I saw was his tongue before my back arched as he licked me from the base to the tip.

He flicked his tongue and pulled away slowly, deciding that teasing me was too enjoyable to pass up. He blew cool air and then licked again, continuously this time. I gasped and moaned lowly, biting my lips in slight frustration.

"Stop tea-"

My speech was cut short as he finally took me fully into his mouth, eyes closed. I blushed, watching him and arched my back, moaning loudly. He sucked harder and held me close, causing me to run my finger's through my hair because I couldn't think of what else to do with them. I cried out his name over and over, eyes rolling back as he continued.

"Mnh... Steve..." I moaned, arching and unintentionally forcing more of myself into his inviting mouth.

He gagged for a moment but didn't stop, sucking so hard I could feel myself already to the point of release. I was practically screaming his name out now, tossing my head to the side. The pleasure was so intense my toes began to curl and I arched once more before coming hard in his mouth. He didn't pull away until I was finished and then he sat up, licking his lips and wiped at his mouth. I opened my eyes slowly and realized I was breathing so hard I could almost see my breath.

"Your... hng," I moaned softly, not able to process anything because my mind was all hazed with pleasure.

"I'm what?" he asked huskily, face so close to mine my breathing almost stopped.

"Amazing..." was all I could lamely push out and he sat me up and flipped me over with force.

"Steve, what are you...?"

"I deserve something, too... I've been wanting to fuck you on the couch anyway," he said bluntly, leaning over me and ran his finger's along my back.

I blushed and looked back him and he only held my waist and suddenly I screamed in pleasure, face pressing into the leather of the couch. He had pushed in so quickly and forcefully I had no time to prepare. As I was there on my hands and knees I gripped onto the couch and he moved slowly in and out, at first. Then he was pushing in harder and deeper and I had no control over anything and just screamed as bliss took over me, his nails gently digging into my sides.

"Shit Darren..." he hissed and I gasped, shaking in pleasure and had difficulty keeping myself up.

"St... oh... mmm..."

Soon he had to hold me up because I was so wrapped up in the pleasure I had given up trying to keep myself still. I was trembling from the feeling and my eyes rolled back and I was crying from the intense waves of pleasure pulsing through me.

"Darren..." he groaned from over head and I knew he was going to come just like I was.

"Steve... Steve baby..." I blushed and he kissed my back and I could feel how sweaty his forehead was.

His hand grabbed at my hair and caused a even louder moan to release from me and I dug my nails in as much as I could to the couch. I punctured it, my finger's now gripping at the newly made holes.

"Darren... Da..."

I gasped and screamed so loudly I'm pretty sure everyone in the apartment complex could hear me. I could hear him moan out my name and I panted, my body falling to the couch. I couldn't breathe properly and felt him slide out slowly, falling on top of me. He was breathing as hard as I was, maybe even harder and I laced my finger's with his and kissed them.

"Wow Darren."

My face paled and Steve's was highly amused and my hand reached over to the phone that had fallen to the ground.

"J-J-Julie? You s-still there?" I gulped and she whistled and I hid my face in the couch when Steve only began to crack up.

"Your the bitch in this relationship, aren't you Darren?" she asked and Steve just about died laughing and he rolled off the couch.

"JULIE!"

"What?" she asked innocently and I blushed and threw a pillow at Steve's face.

"Why did you stay on?" I whined and she laughed at my voice.

"You didn't hang up. We were having a conversation."

"You know your evil right?" I griped and she only laughed again and soon she was parting her ways.

Steve sat there, a amused smile on his face and watched me. I frowned at him and he began laughing harder and I tackled him.

What I was afraid of was how long this... Steve and I, would really last.

* * *

There it is, part one and so much love making.  
My gift to you for being a bad person and not updating Dx

Part II right up next.  
Hope you all like!


	6. Now or Never pt2

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Five: Now or Never pt. II**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

So, I haven't updated in a while, I'm sorry.  
School work and senior year = holy hell.  
That and I just got over the flu u-u

Here's part II.  
Finally. It's 5 am here, so I'm taking some nightquil and going to sleep.  
Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

Have you ever been with someone just to be with them but not because you _like_ them? As I leaned against the wall there was Becca, talking about something that happened to her over the weekend. I tried to listen in, really, but I couldn't think of anyone but Steve. I mean, he was addicting. It seemed like there was nothing but sex going on from the surface, but we actually hung out and talked. You know, real conversations. I was losing more and more interest in Becca and was practically sprung for Steve.

Like last night, for instance. I came to the apartment after having to stay after class and he was cooking. Steve _never _cooks. I do, so it was sweet to see him boiling noodles and trying to make spaghetti sauce. It was even cuter when he wouldn't accept any assistance and when he was finally finished he let me have a taste. It was a bit... off but it was the thought that counted. He smiled like a little kid when I said I liked it and I knew that he was it. He was the one I wanted.

So as I tuned Becca out I felt a huge grin imprint onto my face and suddenly it vanished when my arm was punched.

"Your not listening to me!"

"What? Oh. Sorry, Becca. What were you saying?" I asked her, rubbing my arm and her eyes narrowed.

"You have been ignoring me for weeks! I don't know what the hell is up with you, but you need to fix it," she snapped and my mouth dropped and I pointed to myself.

"_I _need to fix it? All you ever do is talk about yourself! You never let me get a word in. If you gave two shits, you'd at least ask me how my day was!" I said back, annoyed and she pushed my chest.

"Don't you blame me for this! If you paid me attention every once in a while, then maybe I'd like to know what's going on with you!"

"OH! SO NOW IT'S **MY** FAULT?" I cried out, voice rising and noticed we were drawing in a small crowd.

"IT IS YOUR FAULT YOU ASSHOLE! You say you LOVE me but you don't even CARE about how _I_ feel!" she screamed and I gritted my teeth, wanting to hit her so bad.

"Well how about this: since I'm no fucking good, you can be good WITHOUT ME," I said and she bit her lip and I felt a sharp stinging pain in my cheek and my anger died down.

She was crying now and the guilt hit me. I went to take her hand but she backed away from me, glaring me down.

"I hate you so much. Happy one year, you dick!" she yelled and ran off and I stood there, wincing at the dark looks many of the females in the crowd gave me.

I hurried out of the cafe and to the apartments, feeling the annoyance and guilt push at me. I fumbled with the keys to the apartment and dropped them twice. While I bent down to pick them up the door opened and there was Steve and he was all smiles until he saw my distraught look. He slipped on the shirt he had on his shoulder and took my hand, pulling me in and closed the door behind me.

"Darren, what's wrong?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth and I shrugged my shoulders, moving from his touches.

"Darren," he said more sternly this time, wheeling me around as I was walking towards my room.

"NOTHING'S WRONG!" I yelled angrily, pushing him away and stormed off, but only made it to the wall next to Steve's bedroom door.

He grabbed my arm roughly and pinned me to the wall, scowl on his face. I frowned as well and he stared me down.

"Your bullshitting me. What's wrong, Darren?" he murmured and when I took a good look into his eyes I faltered.

"It's Becca..." I began and he loosened his grip and I rubbed my arms and sighed.

"It's always about Becca," he said and leaned his back onto the wall across from me, arms across his chest.

"I think... I don't know. We kinda... split, maybe," I said, rubbing my head and caught the smile on Steve's lips.

"Then why are you so upset? Now... you don't have to worry about her anymore," he said softly, his voice lowering and my heart began to race.

I looked at him and he was staring me down, eyes half-lidded and a smirk onto his face. He pushed himself off the wall and soon his hands were on either side of my head and I realized then I had been holding my breath. I tried to breathe but I couldn't for I was trapped in his eyes. He leaned in close and brushed his lips against mine, but didn't kiss me. I snaked my hands under his shirt and he pulled me close, lips now to my neck. I whined and he nipped at sucked at it, us sliding from the wall to the floor, him pressed onto me.

I could feel him roll his hips onto me and I moaned loudly, finger's now to his hair which was damp. He then pulled me into a deep, sensual kiss his finger's fiddling with the button of my pants. He kissed feverishly, in a rush and I arched as his hand slipped into my boxers and he grabbed me. I tossed my head to the side and moaned out his name, hands gripping his hair which resulted a low groan to come from him.

"Steve..." I mumbled and whimpered when his hand slipped out of my pants and he picked me up.

He kicked open my bedroom door and tossed me onto the bed, kicking the door closed behind him. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he slipped off his shirt revealing his toned body and muscled chest. I bit my lip and tried my hardest not to moan from the sight and he moved closer to me, hands planted on either side of my body. He kissed me deeply, slipping my pants off slowly and pulled away from the kiss, tongue dragging along my earlobe.

I moaned loudly, arms wrapped around his neck and he blew on my ear and the kissed downwards to my collar bone. I ran my hands up his chest and he looked at me and I bit my lip again, edging him onto the bed and laid him down. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I straddled him, his hands coming to rest onto my hips.

"I... I lo..." I began but my voice cracked, my face heating up more, if possible.

"What?" he asked softly, flipping his hair from his eyes and I nibbled on my lip.

"I love you," I said and I saw a tinge of pink onto his cheeks and he moved up a bit to kiss me.

I held onto his waist and trembled as he kissed me delicately. When he pulled away my hands ran along his chest and he laid back down and we were like that for a few moments.

"I've waited to hear you say that..." he said gently and I thought back to a few weeks ago when he confessed his feelings towards me on the beach.

"Sorry it took so long..." I laughed sheepishly and he ran his finger's along my bare thighs and the boxer's I wore began to be very confining.

"Your still the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on," he whispered and I smiled a bit, hands trailing behind me to his clothed legs.

"Steve..." I blushed and moved my body downwards a bit, hands on the button of his pants and he watched me with eyes barley open.

I took my time undoing his pants and sliding them down a bit, my hands caressing his stomach and his sides. He had his eyes closed now and my hands ran along the tip of his manhood and a small groan fled from his lips. I stroked gently and he had a hand in his hair, soft groans coming fluently from him now. I stopped and he grunted and I propped myself onto my knees, blushing as he watched me slip my boxer's off gently. He licked his lips as his eyes seemed to take in my body and I felt very pale and skinny compared to him. His eyes, however, told something different and he gave me a look that gave me the confidence I needed.

I leaned over him and he smiled a bit at me, guiding me downwards so he could slide into me carefully. When he was in, though the pleasure was so intense I had to make him stop for a moment for me to catch myself. Soon I was moving on top of him, my head tossed back as he thrust into me and I pushed back onto him. He was moaning lowly and I was practically screaming. It felt so good I was about to come right then.

"Slow... slow down, Darren," he groaned and I blushed, looking down at him and did so.

"W-What's wrong?" I asked, afraid I wasn't doing it right.

"You... you were moving so... shit I was going to come..." he mumbled and I laughed softly, moving my hips slower now.

Soon I was moving faster again and I arched as he thrust into me. I thought I heard a noise as if something was opening but I ignored it, pulling my hair back and closed my eyes. I cried out Steve's name, my free hand running along his chest.

"Darren..." he groaned and it sounded almost panicked.

I looked down to him and his eyes shifted from the side where the door was to me. I stopped slowly, not understanding.

"Daren, I'm sor-"

I froze and stared into Steve's eyes who wasn't looking at me but at the sound of that of where the voice had spoken. I felt chills run down my spine before I finally turned around, eyes meeting Becca's brown ones. She was starting at us and I opened my mouth to speak before her eyes rolled back and she fell to a heap onto the ground.

My eyes widened and I looked to Steve who was looking at me, less shock on his face then what was evident on mine.

"Shit," I hissed and moved to get off of Steve who held me there.

I stared at him and he tossed a glance to Becca's form onto the floor and then to me.

"We're not done," he said simply and I gasped, shocked even more.

"Steve! We can't have sex anymore! Becca's passed out on the floor!"

"Exactly. She's passed out," he said and I blushed as he pushed deeply into me.

I moaned even though I tried not to and did my best to pull away, which failed miserably. I moaned out softly when he continued to push into me and grabbed me as he went to thrust. I leaned over him. I arched and closed my eyes, screaming as my prostate was hit and I panted, feeling myself close to coming.

"STEVE!"

He shuddered as he came and I gasped, my eyes rolling back and we were there, panting. When I finally came back to my senses I slapped Steve's chest and pulled myself off of him, trying to stand on my own. I stumbled and then finally stood up all the way, running my finger's through my hair. I licked my lips and slipped on my boxers and winced at the sensitivity before slipping my shorts on.

"Shit... she's out cold..." I mumbled, hauling her up and Steve snorted.

I shot him a look and he sat up, "Should just leave her on the floor."

"What the hell, Steve?" I said angrily, frowning and he shot a glare at me.

"Why are you even with her? You don't even love her," he said and I paused then shurgged.

"I..." I started but stopped, not really having a response and looked back to Becca.

"Do you even love me?" he asked, voice hurt and my head whipped up and my voice cracked.

"Of course I love you!" I said and he stopped then asked softly:

"Do you love Becca?"

I frowned and answered, "I don't."

"Your such a fucking liar," he said and stood up, grabbing his pants and slipped them on before storming out of the room.

I hurriedly hauled her over my shoulder and made my way into the living room where Steve had stormed off at. I laid Becca onto the couch before looking over to Steve who looked angry enough to kill someone.

"I don't love Becca, Steve," I said and his frown turned into a scowl.

"Oh, you don't? Some part of you does because your fucking nose crinkled," he said and I paused, looking away.

"I can't... this is bull..." he growled and turned from me, fists clenched.

"Really Steve? So maybe I still have some feelings for Becca still. What do you expect? She's my..." I started then stopped and he wheeled around, eye's narrowed.

"Your girlfriend, right? So, what am I? Your fuck buddy?" he yelled and I frowned and moved closer to him.

"No, your more then that, Steve. You won't even let me get a word in!" I cried, my own blood beginning to boil.

"What would be the point? Your just going to keep lying to me!"

I could feel my eyes tearing up and I rubbed my arms, breaking eye contact.

"I don't think we should... do this anymore," I said softly and I heard a soft utter of a whimper and I looked up and Steve looked like he just had the wind knocked out of him.

"Your... what?"

"It's getting out of hand. I'm living this double life. If you had never of kissed me..." I said and suddenly I was to the ground, my chest heaving.

I looked to see Steve over me, fist out and clenched and staring me down.

"YOU NEVER HAD TO KISS ME BACK," he growled and I stood up the best I could and pushed him.

"You didn't have to fucking TOUCH ME," I said back just as angrily, tears running down my cheeks.

"You didn't have to take the only thing I had left," he said softly and my eyes widened as he looked away from me and wiped at his eyes.

"I... Steve..."

"You didn't have to lead me on, either," he said and with that he opened the door to the apartment and he was gone.

I trembled and sank to my knees, feeling my heart being clenched and ripped in two. I wrapped my arms around myself as I continued to cry, afraid.

I had made a huge mistake.

* * *

And, yes I just created some drama.  
Not everything was going to be butteflies and cupcakes.

Love hurts, lemmie tell you u-u

So, here you go!

Hope you like what you read!

Review / Rate / Favorite

...love me?

Sorry, that was bit much lol!


	7. Fix Us

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Six: Fix Us.**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Here you go. The result of my previous cliffhanger.  
Always Darren's POV.  
I wanted something sweet and realistic,  
so hopefully that's what I aimed for.

Anyway, onto the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting there, blubbering like a baby but eventually my sobs turned into hiccups. I rubbed at my red eyes and sniffed, my knees still to my chest. I coughed and looked around, not entirely sure what to do next.

_Go find him, idiot._

I stood up slowly, shaky and moved to open the door when I remembered that Becca was still on the couch. I sighed and walked over to her form, looking at how her expression was pained. I frowned and picked her up gently and in bridal style, slipping on my vans that sat near the door. I finally made way out of the apartment and walked to hers. When I got there I realized that I didn't have a key. I cursed under my breath and saw something silver in the flowerpot next to the door. I laid her down momentarily to see what it was and I was in luck. It was a key!

I opened the door quickly then picked her back up, walking into the apartment. It was very quiet and neat and smelled like lavender. I flinched at a light as it clicked on and a red headed girl came in, night gown on and she stared at me.

"Who are-"

"Becca's boyfriend. She passed out at my apartment. You know, can't have her over at night. Against the rules," I said and she nodded and showed me the way to where Becca's room was.

"Thanks," I said and the girl nodded and left us alone and I didn't place Becca down until I heard a soft click of a door shutting.

I laid her onto the bed and covered her, just standing there now. I went to kneel beside her bed and ran my finger's through her hair. She was hell of a lot prettier when she was sleeping and not continuously talking. I took a small chain I had from around my neck and placed it into her hand, curling her finger's around it when I was finished. She had given me it about a year back and I guessed I didn't need it... after what happened.

"I'm sorry Becca. I just... I love Steve..."

I bit my lip and stood up, running my finger's through my hair and looked around her room. She had a lot of photo's up but the one that got to me was the photo of us back in our freshman year of high school. Geez, she still had that old thing?

I picked it up and saw how she was looking at me: sincere and in love. God, I'm not that bad of a person for doing this to her, right? I did feel the guilt but leading her on would of hurt even more. I had lead her on enough so eventually this was to happen. I flipped the picture down after I returned it and leaned over her bed. I kissed her forehead gently and walked over to the light switch.

"Goodnight Rebecca," I said gently before switching the light off and made way to the front door.

"She loved you, a lot," a voice behind me spoke and I wheeled around to see the red head there in the hallway looking at me.

"She always talked about you. 'Look Cassie! Look at what Darren got me' or 'Darren is such a sweet guy. I'm so lucky to have him!' I guess things aren't always the way they seem..." she spoke and I frowned, looking away.

"You rather of me pretended to love her and hurt her more?" I asked, confessing things to a girl I had never even met before.

"No. I guess not. Just... let her down easy when you see her next, okay? When a girl loves a guy that much, they deserve at least that much. Tell Steve I said hey and that he's got one hell of a catch," she responded and I blinked and looked over to her.

She smiled a bit and held up her wrist and there was a silver chain. Steve had a matching one.

"Who are you?" I asked and she shrugged, placing her finger to her nose and tapped it a few times before walking off.

"Go to him before he does something stupid," was all I heard from her last before a door closed and I sighed.

"Shit," I mumbled and quickly left the apartment, locking it and returning the key.

Now, to find Steve. I walked around for what seemed like hours and made way past the parking lot in front of the apartment complex. I paused when I saw a car that was rocking and I blushed. Would people really go to the extremes of doing it in the car of all places?

I was about to walk away when I heard a grunt and a loud one, at that. That grunt was different, though. I stopped and turned back to the car, eyes narrowed. That was Steve's grunt.

"The fuck?" I mumbled and moved closer to the back window and could barley see with how fogged up the window's was.

I got the sounds, though and after having sex with Steve so many times, I knew it was him in there. I was so pissed, I leaned down and grabbed the biggest rock I could find on the ground.

"CHEATING BASTARD!" I screamed and chucked it at the window and it broke the glass.

It broke the glass! I heard yells of surprise and I backed away, hearing a stream of curses flee Steve's lips. I backed away more until I was now full sprinting towards the campus apartments, not looking back. All I heard last was Steve's voice crying out in a pained tone:

"DARREN!"

* * *

"Stupid son of a bitch!" I yelled, grabbing any photo I had of Steve and I and began to rip it up.

Hundreds of torn pictures scattered my floor and I continued on my rampage, anything that had to do with Steve was history.

"CHEATING FUCKER!" I yelled and ripped down the other pictures of us lining my walls.

I stormed out of the room and into the living room, pacing. I was angry, no fuck that, I was LIVID. How could he do this to me? I understand we had a fight but having SEX with another PERSON let alone a _girl_ was just insane. Oooh that-

I heard a door open and I stopped, head whipping up and fire in my eyes. There was Steve, hair a mess and expression full of guilt. He closed the door behind him and I glared him down as he took a step forward.

"Darren, let me explain..." he began but I didn't want to talk or hear his explanation.

First thing I could grab I threw.

_CRASH._

Ah, a vase full of flowers. He had ducked and it had missed him. Bastard.

_CLANG._

That one was a clock, hm.

"Da- DARREN STOP!"

_THUNK._

"FUCK!" he hissed and fell to the ground and I stared him down, smiling victoriously as I was holding my next object: his laptop.

The textbook I had thrown previously had nicked him in the leg and sent him to the ground and I tossed his laptop onto the couch and he made his way up slowly.

"You fucked her. You were fucking her. HER in a FUCKING CAR," I growled, tears streaming down my cheeks and I punched him in the chest.

He stumbled a bit, back to the refrigerator and he frowned.

"I'm sorry Darren. I didn't think I—"

"Like fuck you didn't think! LIKE FUCK YOU DIDN'T THINK? HOW WAS SHE, HUH? WAS SHE AS FUCKING _TIGHT_ AS YOU WANTED?"

He bit his lip and I could see how hurt and upset he was. I was too angry to care, especially with how hurt I was myself.

"Darren..." his voice cracked and my hand swung back and smoothly connected with his cheek.

I was crying hard now, I felt it. I didn't even know I could produce any more tears. He was crying now, too and tried to hold my hands. I slapped him again and then punched his chest.

"You had sex with her. You had sex with some girl. Some girl you probably don't even know. You... I broke up with Becca for you," I stuttered, pointing to my bare neck and moved away from him.

"I'm so sorry, Darren. I didn't... I thought..." he began but he was choking on his tears and had his eyes closed.

"You said you loved me. Wish I could tell how you lied so I can call you out on it," I said partially in disgust and pulled away as he tried to kiss me.

"I do love you. I do... I wasn't thinking. I was upset-"

"-new roommate," I said and realized we had been speaking at the same time.

He looked at me and asked softly, "What?"

"Your getting a new roommate. I'm done with you," I said and moved away from him and turned on my heel to my room.

I felt his hand grab my wrist and he forcefully wheeled me around, eyes wide and hurt.

"What... what do you mean? We're... we're not over..." he pleaded and I did my best to pull away and failed miserably as his grip was stronger then my own strength.

"We are over. I don't want Becca and I don't need you," I lied to the last bit and tried to control my face movements so my nose wouldn't give me away.

It worked because he backed away, eyes wider then before and he choked on a sob.

"I... but I love you. Please Darren, I made one mistake," he whined and I bit my lip and looked away.

"I need... I need to think about... us. For right now, it's over," I whimpered and before I would break out into tears again I ran to my room and slammed the door.

I locked the knob and laid in my bed, face to my pillow and cried then harder then I had ever in my life.

Tomorrow was the day I would decide... and I was afraid of what would happen.

* * *

As sun beamed onto my face I grunted, shielding my eyes from the sunlight. I sat up slowly, tears crusted onto my cheeks. I sniffed, rubbing at my face and tossed my legs over the side of the bed. My body hurt badly and I laid back down, sadness seeping into me and resting in my gut.

Today... I had to decide today. It was harder then I thought, deciding. I love him, I know this better then I even know myself. He hurt me, badly at that. I ran my finger's through my hair and continued to think. I guess... I'm sort of relieved it was a girl, to look on the brighter side. I mean, I didn't expect him to go completely... I mean... dammit.

"Why, Steve?" I whined and finally stood up, having to use the bathroom.

When I got there, though, it was occupied. I leaned against the door frame as the shower ran in the bathroom. It was quiet beside the muffled noises in the shower and the running water. The sound of trying to drown out your tears.

"I'm sorry," I heard him mutter, something dropping in the tub but he didn't move to pick it up.

"I'm hurt really badly, you know," I said, biting my lip and the shower turned off slowly and it was silent for a few moments.

"I'm pissed off, to say the least," I continued, "and sad that... you..."

"I didn't meant to hurt you..." he whispered and I closed my eyes when he opened the curtain and stepped out.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered and his hand was to my cheek and I looked away from him in response.

"Darren..." he said softly and began to kiss at my hands and my neck and even my jaw; I stood there motionless as he went on.

"Please..." he moaned desperately and kissed me gently but I didn't kiss back.

"I don't know," I said and he kissed me harder, trying to force his feelings onto me.

I was mad, still but his lips were so soft I was tempted to give in. He guided my body down onto the bathroom floor and continued to kiss me, me finally kissing back. As he pulled away I averted my eyes and he whimpered softly.

"Darren... please..." he muttered, kissing my jaw and neck again and I used whatever strength I had to push him into the side of the tub.

"I can't believe you did this to me," I muttered and kissed him hard and hoped this was a bruising kiss I was giving.

I straddled him as he sat there and my hands snaked up into his hair and I grabbed at it and he winced; he didn't try to move me, nor tried to stop me. I moved my lips from his and my mouth went to his neck where I began to nip at it and he moaned softly in my ear. His hands were still by his sides until I moved my hands to position his on my waist.

"I'm sorry..." he apologized again and I gritted my teeth, my nails digging into his back.

"Prove your sorry. Quit apologizing," I groaned and he laid me down, kissing me gently.

My hands snaked back to his hair and I wrapped as many strands around my finger's as I could before I pulled at it, causing his head to whip back. I pulled him down and kissed him hard, thrusting my hips to his. He moaned in my mouth and I wrapped my legs around his waist, finger's running up and down his back.

He began to grind his hips with mine and I didn't moan only dig my nails into his back and drag them down. He looked at me with a solemn expression, eyes telling me that he'd do anything for my forgiveness. I pushed him off and sat him back up, his back against the toilet now. I straddled him once again and held his hands, thumb nails digging into his palms. He was awfully quiet but I didn't ponder on it too long, rolling my hips against his. He began to groan softly and I rolled my hips harder, causing him to become louder.

My thumb nails dug harder and his hands wrapped around mine as a reflex. He moved his head to kiss me but I moved away, watching his lost expression as I did so. His lips parted as I stuck my tongue out, snaking it's way into his mouth without actually kissing him. Tried again to kiss me but I pulled away and responded by digging my nails in deeper and grinding harder.

"Darren..."

"Just tongue," was all I responded and his tongue snaked out of his mouth and mine did, too, wrapping around his.

He moaned at the sight, I suppose as I finally kissed him with force, eyes sliding shut. I could feel how hard he was through my shorts and I pulled away from the kiss and heard him whimper in response. My nails removed from his hand and he winced, the small cuts in his palms evident there.

I stood up for a moment and he watched me as I slid down my shorts, still silent throughout this whole process. He seemed amazed at this and I only straddled him again, one hand to the back of his head and the other on his waist.

"Make me ride you."

He nodded and lifted me up and I closed my eyes as I felt him slowly slide inside of me and I finally felt a moan release from me. He looked at me hopeful and I pushed my hair from my eyes, looking at him expectantly. He caught on and placed his hands on my sides, moving me slowly up and down. I felt the pleasure fill me and I began to pant softly, eyes sliding shut again as he moved in and out of me.

"Thrust... into me," I moaned and he pulled out almost all of the way before slamming me back down and I arched my back.

"Shit..." I groaned and my finger's trailed from his neck to his back and my nails made home to his back once more.

He grunted softly and a flash back of last night hit me and I pushed hard onto him he grunted even louder.

"You hear those sounds your making?" I said and pushed onto him again and he grunted again and nodded.

"Only _I_ am allowed to make you sound like that. Got it?"

He nodded again and I pushed even harder and he moaned softly.

"And these noises. No one else gets _this_-" I pushed so he was all the way into me and I moaned loudly, "but me. THIS is mine."

"Darren..."

"Got it?" I moaned and dug my nails deeper into his back and he looked at me, panting.

"Got it."

"Good," I said and kissed him hard, holding onto him the best I could as he was basically pounding into me now.

"Prostate. Find it," I moaned and he laid me down and began to thrust as hard as he could, hands trying to hold mine.

"Not yet. Find it... _ah... ah..._ f... firs—_ah..."_

He nodded and began to thrust in different angles, searching for my sweet spot. I felt bliss flush over me and I arched into him, eyes rolling back.

"Found... it..." he moaned and his hands laced with mine and held them tightly as I mine stayed still in the hold.

"Push it. Hit it," I mumbled and he leaned in close to my face and watched my expressions as he skillfully pushed into me, hitting my prostate over and over again.

I was moaning so loudly now I was almost loosing the feeling of irritation and anger and only felt ecstasy coursing through my veins. He kissed me and I kissed back, arms wrapping around his neck as he thrust into me. My hands ran along his sides and to grip his firm ass as he pushed into me and I arched again into him.

He was grunting along with my moans and soon I was to the breaking point. I softly moaned his name and he leaned in and kissed me as soon as I came. I almost screamed into his mouth and my body convulsed as I released.

I felt him release after me and we laid there, panting. I felt the sweat drip along my body and he hand his finger's through my hair.

"Dar-"

"I love you and I'm hurt," I began as I cut him off and he bit his lips and listened, "you hurt me, badly. It will take time for me to even trust you fully again. What you did is still killing me now.

"I want you to remember this because we are not having sex for a while again, either."

He nodded almost reluctantly and I closed my eyes briefly before opening them again.

"I met a girl last night," I said and he watched me, a puzzled expression on his face.

"A red-haired girl..."

"Cassie?" he asked and I looked at him and he blinked.

"You know-"

"She's my best friend," he said and pulled out of me gently, kissing my stomach as I laid back down.

"You've never mentioned her," I said and he laid his head on my chest, drawing shapes onto my stomach.

"I have, many times. You never pay attention," he said and I frowned and he looked up to me, a small smile on his lips.

I felt all of my anger, sadness, everything retreat at the sight of that one little smile.

"Don't... ever hurt me again..." I said softly and me moved up and pulled me to his chest, face in my hair from the feeling of it.

"I'd kill myself before even thinking of it," he whispered, tone serious and I was saddened but relieved at this all at once.

"Are we...?"

I looked up at him and tears were shining at the edges of his eyes and I kissed his chest, saddened.

"We are... we just need to work... out some things," I admitted and he pulled my face close and kissed me delicately.

"Then we'll work at it until everything is perfect," he whispered on my lips and I clutched onto him in response.

Until everything was perfect. Perfect... _just perfect._

* * *

Ta-dah.  
Next chapter up soon.  
I've experienced this, so I did it sort of out of how my experinece with,  
with how Darren and Steve would handle it.

Hope you liked it.  
Thanks for reading and reviewing and putting up with my absence(s)!

Please keep reviewing / favoriting!

Love you guys (:


	8. Forgiven

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Seven: Forgiven.**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Ah, I like this chapter.  
I guess writing these two exposed and vulnerable  
make them more human, yeah?

First Part Steves POV; Second&Third Part Darren's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

"Steve... you haven't eaten a thing, hun."

My eyes averted from my fries onto Cassidy, my best friend since childhood. She had a worried look on her face as she held her milkshake in her hand. I sighed and leaned back in my chair, looking back to my french fries.

"Sorry... I just... I don't want to eat. Don't have much of an appetite," I said and she frowned, hand resting on mine.

"You look terrible, Steve. Have you been sleeping at all?" she asked me softly, worried.

"No. I've been too upset..." I said, moving my hand away to place them to my face.

"I can't sleep. I can't stop crying and wanting to throw up. Darren won't even let me touch him and when he does he pulls away sometimes... I don't know what to do. I said sorry..."

"Hunny, he's hurt. Your going to have to let it take some time. Your still with him, bright side, right?" I could hear her speak and I shrugged my shoulders, closing my eyes.

"I don't know. I just wish I didn't act on fuckin' impulse like I did. She was ugly anyway and all I could do was picture Darren," I said and let my hands fall back to the table, tears stinging my eyes.

"Steve..."

"I messed up so bad, Cass. I'm so scared he'll just leave me and, like, just go and take everything with him. Fuck why couldn't I just-" I felt my shoulders slump and I tilted my head back, trying not to cry in front of my best friend.

"Your... not alone, Steve..." she said, voice sad and I looked at her and she was holding tightly onto my hand; it was like she was trying to suffocate it, or something.

"Cass... don't..." I began and tried to pull my hand away but she held it tighter.

"Don't let this get you down! You love him, right? Then show him your sorry..." she spoke softly, as if she wanted to say something but was too afraid to.

"Cass..." I whispered and she looked away, biting her lip.

"I've already missed my chance and I've accepted it," she continued, wiping at her eyes and then looked over to me.

"Don't miss yours. You have the chance, take it and stop being a pussy," she griped and I couldn't speak, only sit there, speechless.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Go get him!" she said and I only sat there momentarily, still lost.

"Cassidy... you..."

"I love you, Steve. You love Darren. Go to him before I change my mind," she said and stood up, placing a five on the table and moved to walk away.

"Cass!" I called and grabbed her wrist, still confused.

She turned around and kissed my cheek, leaving me even more confused then before.

"Go to him. He needs you," she whispered and pulled away from me and hurried out of the cafe and I stood there, dumbstruck.

_**Go to him. He needs you.**_

I looked over to the campus apartments and ran towards Darren and I's apartment; all I was hoping was that I wasn't too late.

* * *

I didn't know it could get much harder, but it did. I laid my head against the tiles as the water hit my back. I was consumed in thought, always thinking nowadays. I was always cautious near Steve, monitoring him when I could. I knew I didn't trust him and he knew I didn't trust him, either. I slid down the tiles and held myself, still thinking.

It had been a week ever since Steve cheated on me, and it still stung my heart like a fresh wound. I was paranoid that it would happen again even though Steve swore he wouldn't do it. I was alone in this apartment today, Steve saying he wanted to hang with his friend. I wanted to believe him, but I just couldn't. I couldn't and I wouldn't no matter how hard I wanted to.

Then, I cried again for the fifth time that morning.

I_ think_ I had sat in there for a few hours and dozed off because the water had stopped running but then again... I wasn't in the tub. I was in my room, wrapped up in my covers. When did I do this? I sat up and looked around, noticing that it was almost midnight. I looked over to my pillow and there was Steve, hand wrapped around mine and sleeping. His expression was so pained...

I ran my finger's through his hair and kissed his forehead, checking him cautiously for anything suspicious. Nothing. He still even smelled like himself: Axe body wash and old spice.

I got out of the bed and slipped on a shirt, it being Steve's which didn't surprise me. It was pretty big on me so I didn't put anything else on and made way into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and paused when a set of arms wrapped around my waist.

"I can't sleep when your not next to me."

I bit my lip and dropped my water bottle, eyes focused to his arms that held onto me tightly. He was kissing my neck and I trembled, holding onto the refrigerator handle for support.

"Steve..." I mumbled, pulling away and he took a step back.

"Why can't I touch you?" he asked softly and I shrugged my shoulders, not making eye contact.

_"__Why can't I touch you?__"_

He was almost in hysterics and he grabbed my wrist and I finally looked at him. He was still gorgeous even if he looked absolutely horrible. His hair was in his face and he had large bags under his eyes. He was staring at me with those large, chestnut eyes and I bit my lip.

"I... I..." I couldn't give him a reason, I just didn't want to be touched.

"I love you so damn much, Darren. So much it fucking hurts, okay? I fucked up, I know. I just want you to forgive me. I know we can't just wipe the slate clean right off the bat but I can't deal with not touching you," he said and pulled me close and I instinctively pulled away.

"Steve. Please..." I whined and pulled from his grip, hurrying out of the kitchen.

"I LOVE YOU, DARREN. I'M SORRY!"

I trembled and fell to my knees in the hallway, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." I could hear him repeat and I felt the hurt in his voice and found the feeling back in my legs and hurried into the bathroom.

I flipped the toilet seat up and anything I ate earlier made it into the porcelain bowl. I continued until my throat was raw and I cried onto the seat.

This was hurting me so much more then I led on.

* * *

For the second time I had fallen asleep in the bathroom. My cheek was sore from laying on it and I moved away from the toilet. It had been flushed and I looked around, eyes stinging and I made way to the bathroom mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and my lips were swollen from all the biting I did to them. I looked, to be blunt, like shit.

I splashed water onto my face and then looked back, some of the puffiness disappearing. I didn't look so much like shit now. I made way back to my bedroom to sleep when I heard soft whimpers fill the hallway. I walked towards the noise and stopped before Steve's door, hearing how loud the noises really were.

That was the sound of crying...

I bit my already bruised lips and closed my eyes, back against the wall near his closed door. He wasn't just crying, he was sobbing. He sounded so hurt... in so much pain. He really was sorry. It was as if he was crying his heart out with how hurt he was...

I felt tears slide down my own cheeks and soon I couldn't take it any longer and I tossed open the door. He was on the bed, laying down, holding himself as he sobbed. He was trying to breath through his tears and something inside of me broke. I was upset, and he clearly was, too. I didn't want him to cry... it broke my heart to hear him cry.

I ran over to him, scooping him up in my arms and pulled him close to my chest. His crying was practically uncontrollable now and I held him tightly. I looked down to him and his chest was heaving and his eyes were closed tightly and I leaned down and kissed his face. I was trying to kiss his pain away and his eyes cracked open.

"Steve..." I whispered and he coughed, trying to sit up but I laid him down then leaned over him and kissed him delicately.

His hand weakly reached up to hold mine and I gave him it, his finger's lacing with mine. He wasn't crying anymore but his chest was still heaving and I kissed him deeper. I straddled him and pulled away slowly, his eyes barley open and red as he watched me.

"I... I'm not..." he began but I placed a finger to his lips and kissed his hand.

"I forgive you..." I whispered and his eyes widened and I smiled gently, slowly moving my hips against his.

He gasped softly and I moved my hips faster and pressed harder onto him, the friction on his jeans against me causing me to moan softly. He blushed and I leaned close, kissing from his jaw to his neck.

"Darren..." he tried to speak again and I only kissed him again, shaking my head.

"It's my turn..." I muttered and slid myself down to slowly undo his button and slid the zipper down.

I slid my hand inside and wrapped my finger's around him and stroked gently, feeling him arch into my hand. I leaned down and gently massaged him, taking care in being gentle with him. He moaned softly, hands in his hair and watching me intently through a half-lidded gaze.

"I love you," I said softly and sunk to my knees on the floor, licking up and down the shaft gently.

He grunted and began to pant and I finally took him into my mouth, gagging as he thrust his hips up and shoved most of his cock into my throat. I pulled away and coughed but went back to it, following the way that Steve did when he would do this to me. He was groaning and panting above me so I assumed I was doing this right and trailed my finger's along the skin on his exposed abdomen. His hands reached down and his finger's tangled in my hair and I closed my eyes, sucking a bit harder. He moaned loudly and I smiled, feeling a bit accomplished.

"Darren.. D-D-"

I didn't expect him to come so quickly and my mouth was filled instantly and I pulled away, coughing. I swallowed whatever was left and pushed my hair from my face, looking up to him and his face was flushed. I wiped my mouth then made way back to him, hand cupping his face as he took deep and jagged breaths.

"Darren... I'm sor-"

"No... no more saying sorry," I whispered, smile coming to my face, "let me make love to you..."

He bit his lip then nodded and I slipped the shirt off slowly, tossing it to the side and kissed him gently. He grimaced a bit and I laughed softly, apologizing to him over the taste of him still in my mouth. I ran my finger's through his hair and then slid my body down to his crotch, positioning myself before slowly slipping onto him. We gasped in unison and I closed my eyes a bit, moaning softly.

I placed a hand on the side of him and moved on him, up and down slowly. Too slowly for him, apparently for his hand was on my waist and he guided me faster. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, moaning his name in ecstasy. He muttered my name and my eyes slipped open and he was crying again, but it wasn't sadness. I could feel myself blush and he pushed in deep and I could feel myself scream in pleasure.

"Steve," I breathed out, eyes rolling back as he thrust in deeper and harder and I shuddered, pulling my hair back as I rolled my hips in time with his thrusts.

Then, a loud scream pulled from my throat and I almost fell off of him as he thrust into me. He had found it, my prostate and it felt so good when he pushed-

"STEVE!" I screamed, clawing at the sheets and groaned in pleasure.

I fisted the sheets and he groaned along with my estacitic screams and I could feel it. I was so close it hurt and his free hand reached to wrap around me and I arched into his touches. This caused him to push in all the way and I couldn't control my vocals. His hand moved along with the thrusts and I gripped the sheets so hard my knuckles turned white and my eyes widened as I opened my mouth to try and moan again.

One final scream fled my lips before my eyes rolled to the back to my head and I came, coating his chest and moaned lowly when he released inside of me. I was panting hard and he was, too and he closed his eyes. I couldn't keep myself up and was only sitting up now by his hand keeping me up.

I don't know how long we sat there but he slowly slid me off and laid me down and my eyes cracked open as he got out of the bed. He went to his clothes pile and grabbed a towel, cleaning himself off and I smiled a bit. He looked over to me and a small smile came to his lips, as well.

He sat on the bed near me and took my hand without hesitation, lifting it up to kiss it. I felt my cheeks grow warm and I closed my eyes. They opened again when a warm liquid rolled down my arm and I saw that he was crying again. I sat up and he looked to me and pulled my face to his, kissing me deeply.

"I promise to never, ever hurt you again," he whispered and I smiled, wiping at his tears.

"And I trust you never to do so again."

He pulled me into an embrace and buried his face into my neck, inhaling deeply. He laid us down and pulled me close so his face was in my hair. He ran his finger's down my back and in return, I laid my head onto his chest.

We slept like that... just like that. I loved him, and that was that.

* * *

Sweet ending, no?

:] I hope you guys liked.  
They are so cute like this.

Please review / favorite / yay! lol.  
I love you guys so much with all of your wonderful reviews!


	9. Never Admit it: Epilogue

**I Would Never Admit. Chapter Eight: Never Admit it: Epilogue.**

**By: x - - unwrittenMELODY**

* * *

Next chapter with the story being AU (alternate universe.)  
No vampires/vampaneze, no cirque, nada.  
A story that focuses on Darren x Steve's relationship.

Okay, so, it's **M** for chapters containing: AHEMAHEM-content and language.

Final chapter. Steve's POV.  
Don't fret, loves, a sequel is on the way.  
I will be writing that and another story at the same time.  
So enjoy this until I get those going.

Don't cry too much, okay?

Song that helped inspire this:  
**Dead by April - Losing You.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the story. I never have, never will.

Happy reading!

* * *

As the sunlight poured in from the window I tried to keep my eyes closed and rolled over. My arms felt around for his warm body but no one was there and I finally opened my eyes. He wasn't beside me. He wasn't there, but a note had replaced his form.

"Darren..." I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, looking around.

I reached over and grasped the note, looking at the beautiful handwriting placed on the front. My name with Darren's perfect handwriting. I fumbled to open it, but when I did I regretted it, the words on the note breaking my heart:

_Steve,_

_ When you wake up, I won't be there. I had to leave for a little while. It's only for a few months, I think. I... I don't know when I'll be back. We just need some time; maybe even a little space. It's hard on both of us, so many some fresh air will be good for both of us. We're still hurting, so let your wounds heal and let mine, as well. I love you, with all I have._

_- Darren._

I stared at the words and realized I couldn't see them anymore, my hands were trembling so badly. I bit back tears and angrily ripped the note to shreds, tossing the remaining pieces to the ground in my anger. He... He left me. Nothing was real and nothing mattered anymore. He's gone. He left me, alone and... and...

"Fuck, Darren," I whimpered and brought my knees to my chest, feeling my held back tears slide down my cheeks.

"Fuck you, fuck you. Fuck you, Darren," I moaned, looking up and biting my lips, hurt.

I reached over to my phone and slid it up, looking through my contacts and then pressed the center button. I listened to it ring several times before a soft voice answered:

"Steve?"

"Cass... he's gone... he left me..." I said softly and I heard shuffling in the background.

"Oh my God, hun I'm so sorry! Where are you?" she asked me, worry lacing her tone and I sighed.

"The apartment..." I said and there was a click and I looked at the screen and saw that she had ended the call.

I frowned and ran my finger's through my hair and made way out of the bed, picking up a pair of jeans and slipped them on. I didn't bother to button them, it was only Cassidy. There was a slight banging on the door and I walked towards the front but paused when I got past the living room. Even his laptop was gone, he left nothing.

"Be right there!" I called, running to Darren's room and tossed open the door, my heart sinking.

It was almost bare besides a few of his clothes on the bed and floor. I slumped my back against the wall and felt the tears push back at me.

"FUCK YOU DARREN!"

"STEVE, OPEN THE DOOR!" I could hear Cass banging on the door more abruptly now.

I slowly made if from Darren's vacant bedroom to the front door, unlocking it and opening it. There was Cassidy, staring at me with wide eyes. Her hair was all over the place and she only had on a tank top and shorts. I guess I called her at a bad time.

"Steve..." she whispered and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"He's gone. Took everything..."

I felt her hug me tightly and I held her back, staring at the door of the apartment across the hall, finger's running through her hair.

"I'm so sorry, Steve..." she said softly and I could feel something inside of me snap.

_**Nothing matters anymore.**_

"I'm sorry, too, Cass," I said and she pulled away and I looked at her, pulling her face close to mine.

I kissed her. I did, and I guess I should of regret it. I couldn't, I hurt too badly. So as I closed the door behind us I lead her to the couch, laying over her.

"Steve... don't do anything you'd regret," she said softly and I shrugged, looking away from her before spotting a photo of Darren and I on the table.

_Why, Darren?_

I flipped it down and then made way to slide her tank top straps down.

"I won't regret this," I whispered, kissing her again and ignored everything I felt, thought about that involved Darren.

Guess only he could keep me from this resolve. I'd never admit it...

It was... that he was the only one who could make me a better person.

What I didn't see coming, though, would be many months later.

**Months later, I would see Darren again.**

* * *

Epilogue complete.  
Sequel coming soon.

I know, I know.

This ended rough, next one is alot...  
better lol.

Hope you guys enjoyed!  
Love you all and thank you all for your support!


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